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In a day and age where curse words seem to be part of the norm, how does a parent stop a child from using those dreaded four letter words? After all, children learn more by what they see than what they are told. Children look up to those older than themselves, just as they look up to their peers. So how does a parent stop the tendency to want to be like the other kids? And better yet, how does a parent stop a child from feeling that bad words make them "grown up"?
The first thing to remember is that children are curious by nature and have a tendency to want to push the limits. It’s up to us, as parents, to set boundaries for our children all the while lifting up their self-esteem. But how does a parent handle this difficult situation when the child’s self-esteem seems to be lifted by the use of curse words? How does a parent teach a child that just because he or she uses curse words that does not mean that they are all grown up?
The first thing that a parent should do is explain to the child that although they will hear curse words every day of their lives, it does not make it right. Now, children will argue that if everyone else can do it, why can’t they? The best approach to this is not that old cliché, " If they jump off a bridge, are you going to do it, too?" But rather, "I am not that person’s mommy and they are not you. Just because it’s okay for them, doesn’t mean it is okay for you."
Secondly, explain what these curse words mean and how hurtful they really are. Let them know that it's okay to get angry about something. But also let them know that just as it is not okay to hit someone because you could seriously hurt them, it is not okay to call someone a name or yell out curse words. Explain that hitting hurts the physical body while name calling and curse words hurt something more precious, the soul of a person.
Thirdly, do not punish the child every time a curse word or name calling occurs. Instead, take this opportunity to reinforce positive behavior. Take the child aside, and for the umpteenth time explain why the use of the words are wrong. By reacting in a loving way, the child will learn to also react in a loving way.
Fourthly, when you just do not have the patience for another lecture, send your child to his or her room, or face them in a corner until they have had time to think about what they did. And explain to them why they are having the time out.
And lastly, if you use curse words, do not expect your child to stop easily. Children look up to their parents and want to be like them. If a child sees a parent using curse words, it’s only natural for them to think it’s okay. Regardless of the fact that you are trying to end their hurtful words, children will continue to use them if they see that their parents use the same them.
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